9 reasons Yahoo! will never offer to buy your site for 1 billion dollars
September 22, 2006 Posted by Bryan in : Humor , trackback,
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Given News Corp.’s recent aquisition of MySpace for $568 million and the current $1 billion-ish talks bettween Facebook and Yahoo!, you may be wondering why a big corporation hasn’t offered you a billion dollars for your site.
It’s a valid question; and here are the nine biggest reasons:
- Your site doesn’t have millions of pictures of young, drunk, nearly naked college girls hanging all over their young, drunk, nearly naked friends.
- Your site doesn’t make it possible for pre-pubescent, angst ridden 12 year old girls to act like over-sexed skanks.
- Your site doesn’t make it possible for 40 year old perverts to impersonate 16 year old boys to pick up said 12 year old girls.
- Your site is not a Mark Zuckerberg production.
- The themes you use on your site don’t set webdesign back 8 years.
- Your site doesn’t promote your neighbor’s ska/country band.
- You don’t have any place for people to post chain letter poems, personality quizzes, or animated gifs of Furbys riding massive ice cream cones.
- Users don’t have to pay large sums of money to a university and deal with that whole “education” thing to be a member of your site.
- Your site doesn’t have an “I Love the Guy at the Wendy’s in the Union” group.
There you have it. Just make those changes to your site and I’ll bet the offers start rolling in.
Think there’s something else that sets MySpace and Facebook apart from your site? Post it below!
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Comments»
My site doesn’t have a place for people to cyclically post the same 15 videos from YouTube (fights, car crashes, people getting hit in the nuts…rinse, repeat).